One of the things I see the most is people full of dreams who are feeling drained. They say they don’t have time enough to make their dream happen and, by consequence, end up postponing their ideas to the mythical realm of “someday”
I’m sure you are familiar with one or more of the following: “Next Monday, I will go to the gym”, “someday I will take that trip”, or “I will eat healthily.”
In my case, as an English teacher, I often listen, “I’ve always wanted to speak English,” which also often comes followed by a “but.”
“I’ve always wanted to speak English, but …. “it is very difficult”, “I don’t have the time”, “I don’t have the money”, “I took a class and quit before starting”.
I could keep on with this list long and long, but I guess you have already got the picture. There are always many things that can keep us from achieving our dreams, speaking English included.
At this point, you could probably say, “ok, but how do you suggest we deal with it? After all, some of these reasons can be pretty reasonable.” Yes, they are, and if we want to escape the “someday realm,” we need to act.
My first instruction to do so is starting with a paper and pen. No, I’m not going to tell you to memorize a list of irregular verbs! Instead, I want you to be more creative. Go there and grab a paper and pen, I wait.
I want you to ask yourself “what is it that I really want?” – take some minutes to consider it. Don’t hush yourself; I can wait.
Often, by asking yourself what you really want, you can come up with some unexpected answers. It might turn out that a wish, such as “I want to learn English”, becomes something else. You could discover the real meaning behind this sentence is “I want to be respected by my colleagues”, “I want to get that promotion”, “I don’t want to feel afraid of speaking any more”, or “I want to take that trip on my own”.
There is no too small aspiration, neither too big, just be honest to yourself, nobody needs to know what this wish is, so go there and write it down. Once you have taken some time to think about your wish and have it clear in your mind, write it down and get prepared for the next step.
Now I want you to think all the good things can happen once you get what you want. I want you to think about the details of it as well. ALL THE GOOD THINGS. If taking a trip is your dream, imagine yourself talking to people in a foreign language, laughing, and feeling accomplished. C’mon, go there I wait.
It feels good, doesn’t it? Now, pencil and paper, go there and write down some of these thoughts we’ll head to the next step.
Done? Now that you thought about your dreams and all the good things resulting from them, we are going to stop a little and think about the obstacles on your way. I want you to think about the things that can keep you from achieving your dream. For example, If you are not financially organized, you might feel you don’t have enough money to start; or if you are a perfectionist, you might avoid speaking because you are too afraid of judgment; or if you don’t have much discipline, your obstacle could be missing too many classes. Take some time and name your monsters, one by one, each obstacle that comes to your mind. Once again, I wait.
Let me add something, this step might feel hard; however, please do not give up; this is a critical moment, often we are taken by surprise and with no backup plan. In these situations, it can be really tough making a decision. And that’s precisely why you are creating this list. Now that you have listed some of your most feared obstacles, you are ready for the fourth and last step.
Plan, now you know what you want, you have clear in your mind the reward of your efforts and the obstacles on your way. All you need to do is creating a plan to deal with the obstacles once they come up.
Not sure if you have enough money? – check your financial statement and see if the money for your dream isn’t being wasted on fast food, and other indulgences, if so, create a plan: ” When I get my money at the beginning of the month the first thing I will do is paying the classes.” or, if you find out you don’t have enough money you could decide to take a free online course.
If you are too afraid of judgment, and always get cold feet of speaking; imagine yourself at the moment you are speaking English, and create a plan “when I feel that butterflies on my stomach I will think, ‘I’m excited to have this opportunity to practice,’” create a plan and tell your brain what to do, repeat this sentence in your mind, speak out loud, write it down until it becomes real.
These are some examples, and they are related to language learning because that’s a common topic with my learners. However, you can use this for virtually anything you want to achieve in life.
What you have just learned is a scientific technique called WOOP ( Wish; outcome; obstacle; plan). Based on years of research made by Gabriele Oettingen and published in her book Rethinking positive thinking.
WOOP is a practical, accessible, evidence-based mental strategy that people can use to find and fulfill their wishes and change their habits.
However, you should not only believe what I say, regardless your goal is learning a new language or changing your eating habits, but you should also try it by yourself.
Go there, WOOPing your dreams, and after come back here and tell me if it helps or not, deal?
See you next time
